I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
