there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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