Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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