I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
