i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
