exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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