WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
