Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
