Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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