Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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