It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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