I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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