Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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