On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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