But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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