college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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