You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
