My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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