My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
