Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
