Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
