is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
