I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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