Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
