I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize