some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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