Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
