Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
