Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize