found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
