Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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