I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
