You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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