She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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