did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Randomize
