check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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