is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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