Is it because I queefed?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
