Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
