Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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