Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
