i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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