Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
