i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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