I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
