You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am full of burrito and curiosity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
