At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
