Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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