My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
