My first STD was from a foam party
too bad you live with your parents still
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
