Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
