Pappa wants mamma naked
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
