by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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