Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
