dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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