So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
