just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
