guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
