Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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