Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
