those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize